Live and Let Live, or Don’t Live At All

In Panama there are no repercussions for anything- drunk driving, womanizing, lying, killing too many fish- it just all comes with the territory and in the end, the only policeman in the room is yourself. The U.S. is so utterly controlled these days that many Americans have a hard time living in society where nobody tells you what to do. Almost like a lifelong blind man getting his vision and buckling at the sensation overload.

The flip side of that coin is that everybody else gets to do what they want as well. So, in Panama it is either live and let live, or don’t live at all – as messing with another's business can have fatal consequences.

I found that everyone wanted to party all the time, so I joined in- just one problem, crippling hangovers – mixed rum drinks often left us all totally dried out and useless. So being the problem solver that I am, I literally invented a prevention for hangover. I used a dried-out part of the conch meat- smashed it up and put it in capsules – the effect was amazing, letting anybody drink until they were blind and wake up the next morning ready for action – the one side effect of a boner smacking you in the face with enhanced sex drive was tolerable for most.

On the verge of being broke, I launched HangFree and sold it as fast as I could make it. After a while, I began to feel like a drug dealer, people showing up begging for the magic hangover cure. My buddy Hernan distributed it in over 300 markets in Panama. Naty, the drop dead gorgeous Argentine model seen in this photo helped us sell plenty.

I had given up hope of ever getting my wife, Nicky, home-. After four years, I had finally relented to Panama and accepted her just as she was and got my mind off the outside world and accepted my new reality. Just as I let go, the phone rang, and my lawyer said our appeal had been accepted and it was time to come home. The surge of tears and emotion is beyond words- in fact I could not speak at all, the only thing I could muster was a single raised fist of victory that I kept held high for an hour until the blood drained from my arm. Just one problem, I did not have the cash to move my wife, my dog and all our stuff back to California, yet the immigration service gave us a strict six-month deadline to move back home or lose the Visa!

I came home with just a few bucks in my pocket and listed HangFree business for sale- a man from Canada snatched it up for $250,000, the exact amount of money Panama had taken from me over the years. The man yanked the deal out of escrow at the last second. I was out of time.

I put my last $50 in my gas tank and drove to Santa Barbara where I called the buyer back and flat out talked him back into buying the business. The deal went through this time, my wife was home within a week and we started our lives anew in Santa Barbara where I still live today. She left me anyway in the end, I guess love and sacrifice sometimes just are not enough, but that’s another tale for another time.

Panama had pushed me to drink, so I invited a cure for hangover. Panama had taken all my money which I got back from the sale of the HangFree business- in the end Panama paid me back for everything she took and more!